Archive for the ‘Inspiration’ Category

I Can Do BETTER in 2019!

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I have a confession to make…I can do BETTER in 2019!

A good coach ALWAYS practices what they preach. I coach my students to always give their best-whatever it is that day, because their BEST is enough! I also coach my students to celebrate their victories, and reflect on their journey constantly. It’s easy to get discouraged and to forget how far you’ve come unless you look back to see where you started. I also coach my students to embrace their failures and shortcomings, learning and growing from all of them. Our failures create growth. So as I look back on the last 365 days, I came to some realizations that I need to do BETTER in 2019.

Although I always strive to give my best, there are times I can recall thinking….”I could have done better today.” This means I did not truly give my best at that moment. When I look back at the times I know I could have done better, it seems to always stem from preparation…or lack thereof! If I didn’t deliver my best coaching performance, it’s on ME! When I don’t follow good nutrition or training habits, it’s on ME! When I can’t get ahead in business, and in life, it’s on ME! If I don’t prepare myself for greatness, I cannot be disappointed when it doesn’t come. In 2019, I will do BETTER with preparation & delivering my BEST!

As a small business owner, it’s frustrating when you don’t see the growth (internally & externally) that you expect. Truth: I did not grow my business or my team to the expectations that I set for myself this year. Interestingly enough, a handful of my students recently reminded me where we started many years ago…group training in the parks, with only 6 or 7 people, never knowing from one day to the next what location we would conquer our workouts in next. It’s easy to get discouraged when we don’t reach the heights we aspire to, but don’t let that cloud your vision of what you have actually achieved. Today we have an amazing facility with more equipment than we need, and we have more committed and enthusiastic warriors than ever! There’s no guessing about tomorrow. We KNOW where we are going to be, and that our journey is still evolving. Back in the days of training in the parks, I did not have a “team” to help me make things happen. It was just me, a one woman show. Now I have the best assistant on the planet, Natasha, who is helping me run every aspect of the business. I also have 2 part time coaches, Patti & Preston, who are not only coaching up our students, but they are giving me some precious moments to take a break from business so I can focus on my personal life. My resolve here, my expectations for myself and my business are high. I have a lot to be grateful for, and hard work has paid off. But in 2019, I will do BETTER setting expectations & recognizing the many successes along my journey!

As a coach and a team leader, I have failed many times in 2018. There were times that I did not always say the right thing. There were coaching moments that slipped through the cracks. There were times I failed to clearly establish expectations to my staff so they knew exactly what they needed to do. There were times that I dropped the ball and didn’t do what needed to be done. All of these failures have had consequences. I would be lying to you if I said I hadn’t beaten myself up a bit or been angry due to my failures. Hey, I’m human! But I know that these failures have helped me grow stronger, so I will not repeat them. I will do BETTER in 2019 by not repeating my past failures and I will let the failures to come help me to grow and evolve as a business owner and a person!

As I write this, I am not going to tell you that 2019 is going to be your best year yet. I cannot promise that. But one thing I truly believe is “your BEST is yet to come”…if you want it! I hope my confessions have helped you reflect a bit to decide where you want to be BETTER in 2019, in some aspect of your life. If nothing else, remember these three things each day moving forward to be a little BETTER in 2019:

  • Always give your BEST! Whatever it is that day, it’s enough!
  • CELEBRATE your victories each day! Make it the last thing you do before you go to sleep.
  • Accept FAILURE! It doesn’t define you. Failure is part of your journey, and it is a great teacher.

If you are striving for BETTER in 2019, let TFW Greensboro give you motivation and accountability that will change your life! Click here to get a jump start on the year and to experience the difference between the TFW coaching program & “other gyms”.

Peace & Health,
Coach Nicole

Do You Lack TIME Or PRIORITY?

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As summer is closing, it seems life has turned manic as parents are adjusting their schedules and getting kids back in school. But wait, didn’t we just go through this already? As kids got out of school only a couple of months ago, life was manic as schedules adjusted for the summer. Then the summer brought vacations, summer camps, and many other distractions to the schedule. And rest assured that next month, everyone will be manic once again in preparation for Halloween, and the upcoming Holiday season, followed by the New Year! Whew! It’s an ongoing cycle! One of the most common responses I get when asking students why they aren’t getting to the gym, eating healthy, taking better care of themselves, or reaching their goals…across the board the answer is: “I don’t have time”. My reply to that: “Really? Or is it just not a priority?”

I’m a fitness coach, and I spend approximately 12 hours (or more) each day at the gym coaching students, running the gym, and working on the business. Because of that, one would think I must never miss a workout, which is why my personal experience with prioritizing might surprise you. After sustaining my first ever knee injury last year, a torn meniscus, my mindset shifted. As my movement & abilities were limited, so was my motivation. I was scared of making it worse, so I did less. Now, I know better than this. The coach in me kept saying “but there’s so much you still CAN do, so DO IT!”…but I didn’t hear myself. I found myself shifting my time to accommodate other things instead. It didn’t take long before I “never had time” to get my own training in became a regular part of my vocabulary.

It’s amazing what can happen when you stop and listen to what you tell yourself (and others!). During my “injury pity party” one of my students and I were talking. We were discussing our busy schedules and the insane hours we work because of our businesses. They asked me, “So when do you get your workouts Nicole? You’re so busy, when do you have the time?” And THAT was my A-Ha moment! How could I tell them I don’t have time when I spend so much time in the gym? At that moment I realized I had fallen into the “Time TRAP”! When they were gone, I asked myself “Do you not have time, or is it not a priority?” Game changer. Of course it was a priority for me, it’s my LIFE! I had just allowed my workouts to become negotiable.

You see, EVERYTHING you do today is a priority! You’re making it happen. If it wasn’t a priority, you wouldn’t be doing it. Regardless of what you’re doing, you have adjusted your life to accommodate it. Taking ownership of how we prioritize is a tough thing. It can be painful to recognize and accept that we actually have the TIME, but we just aren’t PRIORITIZING it in a way that produces the results we want. When you make it a priority, it becomes non-negotiable.

So what in your life have you shifted to the bottom of the priority list that needs to be moved back to the top? I’m happy to say that my reality check caused me to shift my life around to accommodate my fitness goals and put my workouts back at the top again! Interestingly enough, it really wasn’t that hard once I committed to the idea. Here are a few tips to help YOU get your priorities back in the right order:

  • Make the decision that something needs to change. This is an absolute necessity in order to take action.
  • Make that decision NON-NEGOTIABLE. It becomes a must! Just as your faith, your family, and your need to put food and water in your body to survive is NON-NEGOTIABLE, same goes for other priorities you set for yourself. Say “no” to something else, and do whatever it takes to make this task happen.
  • “I don’t have time” vs “It’s not a priority”. When you start to tell yourself its ok if you skip it today, tell yourself “It’s not a priority” and see how that makes you feel. If it makes you feel bad…rearrange your schedule and make it happen!
  • Accountability-get some! Enlisting a friend, keeping a log, posting it to social media, hiring a coach-are all great ways to create accountability so it’s not so easy to let yourself slip back into bad habits.

If you are struggling with priorities, and your health and fitness goals need a re-boot, schedule a FREE strategy session with me at TFW Greensboro! If you’re not already training with our program, join our community for ONE MONTH to see how we can help you get focused and coached towards your BEST life ever! CLICK HERE to claim your 30 Warrior Kickstart! No more “Time Traps”! You’ve got what it takes and you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to!

~Coach Nicole

REFLECT, Look For Something DIFFERENT Each Day!

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Just recently, my husband & I finally took our 1st full week vacation in nearly 7 years. Since it was our 15th wedding anniversary, we both decided the timing was necessary for celebration and reflection. Man! We both forgot what some time to be fully OFF felt like. He’s got a demanding career that never has an “off” switch, not to mention his 2nd career…helping me run MY business. I’ve been so busy building, nurturing, and growing my business that I have not stepped back and made any time for myself. I had no idea I had grown numb to the “daily grind” of long hours and hard work. It’s just a way of life for me, and I love every minute of it because I am living my passion and purpose. When you love what you do for a living, it never feels like a job. But everyone needs to take a vacation from time to time! Which took us to Atlantic Beach, NC for a little R&R.

Nothing beats getting out on the water, so that’s precisely what we did while on vacation. We timed our first outing at low tide so we could find a sandbar to anchor up to and let our dog, Siler, run and play without restriction. However, it seemed that quite a few others had the same idea. The sandbars were all packed…except for ONE, so we claimed it! We had a blast, and were floored at the amazing ecosystem we found on this little sliver of sand. There were horseshoe crabs EVERYWHERE (a RARE sight these days)! A few really big ones, but a ton of babies all on one side of the sand bar. We found a few interesting shells never found on the beach, took some great pics, and headed home fulfilled.

Our intention was to explore various little islands and sandbars each day, but as we set out the next day, it seems once again everyone else had beat us to the “bar”! Strangely, that same sandbar was vacant so we decided to try it again. We assumed we would see more of the same from the day before & we would likely be bored. WRONG! It was a completely different scene. The sandbar LOOKED the same in size, shape, even the huge driftwood tree was sitting in the same spot. But there were no horseshoe crabs. Not one. Instead, we found hundreds of conchs and hermit crabs. Every direction we looked and walked in the shallow water we saw conch shells of all sizes. Although we really wanted to claim some of the gorgeous shells we saw, they were all inhabited and we left them all to grow and thrive. When the tide started covering our little sandbar, we pulled the anchor and headed back to land.

The next day, we couldn’t wait to get back on the water, and find another cool spot to check out. We had already decided that having our own “private beach” was pretty cool, so we cruised around looking for a different one. It was almost as if that little sandbar we had been to the two days prior wanted us to come back to see what it had to show us, because all of the other islands & sandbars were packed again. Yet, the same sandbar was vacant once again…as if we had a reservation on it! We anchored up and jumped out. We were once again surprised to find different life and landscape. There were still a few conchs, but there were a lot of crabs. Big ones with pincers running around under water. Fish, lots of small schools of little fish. And ONE stand-alone sand dollar. We also found that we were not the only humans to find this little slice of heaven. Someone else had found peace on this little oasis in the sound and drawn pictures in the sand that seemed to spell out a scenario, something like you would find on a cave wall. It seemed to be a parting message of their journey, ending with the car ride home. We stayed until the ocean wanted us to leave, and with the tide rising, we left.

Time off was great, but the reflection that came with it was the real gift. It wasn’t until I had some time away to truly decompress, rest, and to feed my soul, that I could recognize how tunnel-visioned I had become in my daily life. Have I been guilty of being in a routine “daze” and missing small wonders and different treasures that were in front of me each day? The experiences on the sandbar got me to thinking how, as a society, we have become numb to the many gifts and small wonders in front of us each and every day. Just because we have the same daily routines, drive the same routes back and forth to work/school, and stop at the same coffee shops and stores, doesn’t mean that there aren’t great things in front of us along that path each time. We just get numb to the obvious and fail to see the finer details.

I want to part with two challenges for you to consider. My first challenge for you is to keep your eyes and mind open today as you embrace your routine. Look for something DIFFERENT among the normal sights. Each day is a precious gift, so we must treat each day as just that…a gift! Search for the treasures hidden below the surface. My second challenge for you is to take some time “off”. Nurture and feed your spirit. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, just break the normal routine and let yourself decompress. It’s those moments that free up space in your mind so that you can let the good stuff in!

Peace & Health!

~Coach Nicole

7 Reasons to Hit the Gym in the AM

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For a rare few, mornings are the best time of the day. The birds are chirping, the sun is rising, and this the new day is invigorating. For the rest of the world, however, pushing out of bed and into the world of consciousness is no easy task. However, if you’ve wanted to take your lifestyle to the next level of healthiness, the snooze button needs to go.

Wondering why you should kick your snooze button to the curb and get to the gym first thing in the morning? Here are 7 solid reasons…

Reason #1 To Hit The Gym in the AM: You’re in a Healthy Headspace

When the first thing you do with your day is exercise, it does something to your mental state. Instead of thoughtlessly taking a bite of high-carb, high-sugar, low-energy food during the day, you’re very conscious about what you put into your body. After all, you woke up early to get this body in tip-top shape. No reason to waste your early-morning routine. On top of better food choices, you’re more likely to find opportunities to take a quick walk during the day when you start your day out right.

Reason #2 To Hit The Gym in the AM: You’ll Need Less Caffeine

Feel like you spend most of your day traveling from your desk to the coffee machine? Get up earlier and work out and watch your need for liquid energy decrease. Sure, you may still enjoy a cup or two—you may even need a cup on the way to the gym, but hitting the gym early in the morning will give you an added boost of energy and mental clarity without caffeine.

Reason #3 To Hit The Gym in the AM: You’ll Have Privacy

Spend much time working out at lunchtime, and you know how frustrating it is to wait around for a weight machine or treadmill. Want to use every minute in the gym to push your body to its limit? Then stop waiting for the bench by getting in when everyone else is fast asleep. As an added perk, you won’t have to avoid that guy who always wants to talk when you’re trying to focus on your next rep. He’ll be in dreamland, far away from the gym.

Reason #4 To Hit The Gym in the AM: You’re Ready for Work

On top of being more health-minded, you’ll find yourself feeling more confident after an early-morning workout. Big client flying in for a meeting? No problem. You just conquered a pre-dawn workout, showered all your sweat off, and ate a healthy, protein-rich breakfast. That little meeting is no problem, so bring it on!

Reason #5 To Hit The Gym in the AM: Nighttime Is Your Time

When Friday rolls around, your family and friends aren’t always understanding of your workout routines. They beg and they plead with you to skip your workout (just this once!) so you can join them for a party or a night on the town. Eventually, you’re guilted into doing as they wish. Put together enough of those non-exercise evenings and your commitment is in trouble. Hit the gym early in the morning, on the other hand, and you can have your workout and be social in the evenings, too!

Reason #6 To Hit The Gym in the AM: You’ll Stick with It

Nighttime fun isn’t the only reason you skip exercise. In fact, more often than not, a late night at the office or taking the kids to soccer practice does in your routine. So if you want to meet your goals in the gym, get started on your routine in the morning, before your day gets started.

Reason #7 To Hit The Gym in the AM: Your Body Thanks You

There are a lot of things that have to go right in your body to feel well and perform at your peak. You can help regulate a number of these processes by waking up at the same time each day and working out early. In fact, even if you’re not a morning person right now, within a few weeks of exercising in the morning, you will likely find yourself waking up earlier and feeling energized every day of the week, which enables you to do well at the gym or—on your off days, have fruitful mornings even away from the gym.

Call or email  today to find out what morning times we have available – let’s get you into the best shape of your life together!

Committed to your RESULTS
Coach Nicole
Nicole@tfwgreensboro.com
(336) 324-1140

Feeling stressed? You’re not alone.

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Stress is an inevitable part of our modern existence. Whether you’re the CEO of a large company, a Kindergarten teacher or a construction worker, you have stress to deal with. We all have bills to pay, relationships to maintain and challenges to get through.

But you don’t have to let it get the best of you. How can you turn your stress-filled life on its head?

With one of the best weapons against stress: exercise.

When stress is getting you down, you need something to kick you out of your funk. You need something that makes you feel good.

Every time you exercise, you increase your body’s production of endorphin’s.

In case you have forgotten, endorphin’s are responsible for those good moods you get in after a race or the euphoria you feel while chomping down on a piece of chocolate.

However, before you grab a piece of chocolate and skip the gym, remember the end result of each and choose which one will help you battle stress in the long run. (Hint: It’s not the chocolate.)

Any and all exercise you perform helps you fend off the effects of stress. So whether you enjoy jogging, lifting weights, playing basketball, practicing ballet, swimming, yoga, rowing, or boxing, simply getting involved in your exercise of choice is sure to help reduce your stress.

Through the Brick Wall: If you are working out every day and not getting the stress relief you want then it’s time to do things a little different. If all you do is lift weights five days a week, you should add in tennis or racquetball a couple days a week. And if you’re all cardio all the time, it may be time to get off the treadmill and grab a dumbbell or two.

Still not working? Keep a diary of your progression. Write down how long and hard you exercise, the various weights you lift, and the steps you make toward whatever health goal you set for yourself. Take pictures along the way as well. Then look back over your journal on occasion. Seeing the progression when you feel you’re not making progress may give you the confidence you need to put stress in its place and move on.

My mission is to get each and every one of my clients the body that they desire and along with that a low stress lifestyle.

Take the stress out of planning your own workouts by joining one of our high-energy, fat-blasting exercise programs.

Call or email today to get the body and stress level that you deserve.

committed to your RESULTS

Coach Nicole
Nicole@tfwgreensboro.com
(336) 324-1140
https://www.warriorcardio.com/greensboro-30-day-trial
PS Never Give Up
Don’t allow past failures get you down. It can be frustrating waiting for results, but by a combination of cardio exercises, a healthy diet, and the right resistance workouts, you will reach your goal. Never. Give. Up.

Meet our “Warriors Of The Month”!

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Meet our “Warriors Of The Month”, Tim & Karen Parrish!

One of our mantras at TFW Greensboro: “The couple that TRAINS together…STAYS together”! Tim & Karen are PROOF of this. Karen began her journey with Coach Nicole in 2009, long before we introduced TFW. Since then not only has she transformed, but her husband Tim has been training right along side of her for more than 5 years now. Together, they have never been more healthy, strong, and bonded as a couple! The dojo lights up when these two enter. Not only do they push each other & keep each other accountable, but they INSPIRE everyone around them to keep going! Every couple faces obstacles…they just don’t always face them together. Karen and Tim…keep leading from the front that TOGETHER we are stronger than when we are alone! 

How to make 2018 your BEST year yet!

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Correct me if I am wrong, but don’t we go into EVERY New Year claiming that we will make it the BEST one yet? We always claim we’re “going to do better this year”, with the best of intentions. We scream from the rooftop “new year, new me”! We send wishes to others via text, email, holiday cards that say: “make this your BEST year”. And then, the end of January rolls around and reality hits. That’s when all of the excitement dies down, momentum is lost, and we throw our hands up and give into mediocre again, rarely doing anything different than we have done before. Making this year the BEST? It just seems like so much work!

Being a fitness coach for the last 20 years, I’d love to say that there is a magic formula for making any year your BEST year. Personally, I don’t think that such a “magic formula” exists. However, I DO believe that you can make ANY year your BEST year. I think it starts by attacking it one day at a time. Of course you have to have a grand goal out there in the distance to work towards, but if that’s your only focus, and you fail to take the small, yet necessary, steps each day, it’s easy to get discouraged and thrown off course. Life happens. It throws obstacles and challenges at us. Ultimately it’s your mindset that determines the outcome. So the question you must answer is: Do you face the challenges head on, or do you avoid them?

If you have the mindset of facing your challenges head on, and taking the path of MOST resistance in life, there is a great chance that you will indeed make 2018 your best year yet! You likely don’t need any sophisticated recommendations or “magic formula” for success, because you already possess it-with that mindset! However, if you are like most people and find yourself avoiding obstacles in your life, shying away from difficult decisions, and taking the path of least resistance whenever possible…read on! There is hope for you too, to live your BEST!

Being known to over-analyze and overthink just about any decision I have made about my personal and professional life, it has taken quite some time for me to realize the value of simplifying. When it comes to creating BIG life changes, here are some tactics I have used, and gotten great success:

  • ACT before you think! Sometimes you have to take the action forward without stopping to think about how to do it, or what could go wrong. Just DO IT, take the plunge, and then you can process once it’s done. Sometimes this is precisely what needs to happen to get momentum started. How many times have you talked yourself out of doing something before you even tried?  For instance, do you want to get in better shape in 2018? Just GET MOVING! Don’t try to plan for it, make a list of pros and cons, or look too closely at your daily calendar to realize “you don’t have time”. Once you’ve taken that first step to start, then you can sit down to think about the other things that need to happen to keep you moving forward and help you reach your goal.
  • Do something DIFFERENT! It’s pretty simple, to get what you’ve never had, you have to do things you’ve never done. You can’t expect the solutions that worked for you last year will give you the same results this year. You have changed, the world has changed, so you have to change your approach. Your past does not determine your future…so stop living there! Try a different approach to training if fitness is your goal. Skip the “diets” of the past and try a new and sustainable change to your nutrition if you’re wanting to lose a few pounds and feel energized. Consider a new course or book to read on the skillset you want to adopt or improve on this year. Bottom line, just do something different than you’ve done before!
  • Create GREAT habits! If you look at the most successful people in this world, they have one thing in common: they have a lot of really good habits. When you routinely do things that will add value to your life, it’s hard NOT to gain momentum. I find that it’s a lot harder to break bad habits than it is to ADD good ones. One thing we do at TFW Greensboro each month is “Choose One Lose One”. We write down one good habit we want to bring in for the month, and one bad habit that is currently holding us back from our goals. Practice this every month for a year, you have gained 12 good habits, and lost 12 bad ones! Remember that it’s the little things you do every day that really manifest into something BIG!
  • Live for TODAY! Some of the most impactful moments of your life are not the ones you’ve planned out, but rather the ones that come from spur of the moment actions. Do something each and every day that lifts your soul and feeds your inner happiness. If you put it off until tomorrow, it may not happen. Tomorrow is promised to no one. Before you put something off, ask yourself: “will my future-self wish that I had done this”? If you can answer “yes”, then GO FOR IT! You never know what you do today that may create the momentum to lead you to your BEST year yet! Don’t wait for it…go after it today!

I hope that you are feeling encouraged to take action and let NOTHING stop you from finding your greatness in 2018. You have what it takes to succeed! Believe in that, and take one small step today that will give you momentum!

If you are struggling to find momentum on your own, consider allowing myself and the team at TFW Greensboro to facilitate your journey. Try a risk-free one month trial for our group training program for $99. CLICK HERE TO APPLY for this limited time offer. You’ll get guided and structured strength and cardio training, nutrition coaching, tracking of progress to keep you on track, and a community of supportive people that will help you succeed!

Want to get to “The Next Level”?

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At TFW Greensboro, everyone is coached that you have to LEARN to do the basic things extraordinarily well, and EARN the “next level” of any exercise. The concept is simple, it’s better to do a few things extraordinarily well rather than a lot of things with mediocrity. Bruce Lee said it best with this quote: “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks. I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”

When you have mastered the basics, progress is inevitable. However, when you tackle something at a level you aren’t ready for, you must be prepared to struggle and possibly regress. The trouble in our society is that most people want to start at a higher level than they have earned. Whether it is in the gym, in the workplace, or at school, we see what others are doing and assume we should be able to do it too, without considering how much time and effort those that have mastered the desired level have put in.  This applies to ANY aspect of life!

Consider one area of your life (in work, fitness, nutrition, school) that you struggle to make progress. What do you need to be able to perform at a higher level? It might be easier than you think. Here are a few tips to help you take yourself to the “next level” & get RESULTS, no matter what level you are starting from.

  • Master the basics first! Sounds elementary, and it IS! Think back to when you were a young child learning how to get dressed. You learned to put your underclothes on first, then your shirt, then your pants, then your coat. If you started with your coat, it would be pretty tough to get the other layers on. The same concept applies when you are learning a new lift at the gym, or a new skill at work or school. Get the basics down first and grow from there.
  • You have to do the work. Plain and simple. To get good at ANYTHING, you have to practice, practice, practice. Just think of anything you are already great at. Did you do it perfectly the first time? Chances are…NO! It is said that to become a master of anything, you must do it 10,000 times. If you have only done it 100, and it’s not perfect…keep practicing!
  • Don’t compare yourself to others-get INSPIRED by others. As a coach, I see people get frustrated because the see someone else doing a lift or using a technique that they struggle with. Often times, they will throw in the towel way too soon because they aren’t performing at the same level as others. Rather than get mad about what you cannot yet do, get INSPIRED about what someone else can do…and then DO THE WORK necessary to move to their level.
  • Consistency. We don’t get good at anything if we only do it when it’s convenient. The people that are the most successful in this world all have one thing in common. They never gave up. A little on top of a little adds up to a lot! Small steps every day will get you to your destination faster and stronger than lots of short sprints.
  • Patience. Nothing great happens overnight, nor without mistakes. Have patience with yourself as you learn & grow. Be willing to make mistakes, be willing to fail. Mistakes and failures are inevitable for growth. Anything new is hard. Remember that the only way to grow is to do things you’ve never done.
  • Reflect. This might be one of the most important tips I have about getting to the next level. No matter where you are right now, it’s easy to get frustrated about not getting to “the next level”. But you must stop to remember where you started. What is difficult today is likely difficult because you are working at a different capacity than before. I am a firm believer that things don’t get “easier”, you just get STRONGER!

Our motto at the DOJO is to “Just get ONE”! Think about it, before you can lose 10 pounds, you have to first lose 1. Before you can do 10 push-ups, you have to be able to do 1. And this concept applies to just about anything. As you embrace the challenges and obstacles in your life, know that you have what it takes to get to the next level. Believe in yourself, and keep chipping away at your masterpiece!

Learning From Loss

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This past weekend I was spending time with a close friend of mine who lost her husband last year. As we reminisced about the many memories of her late husband, our conversation unexpectedly shifted to the lessons we learned from this great man. Being a lover of life, he was also a man that always had a plan. He is a constant reminder that your life is exactly what you make of it.

When our visit was over, I couldn’t help but think about loss on different levels, how it affects us and how we grow from it…or how we decay from it. We all experience loss. It is inevitable in nearly every stage of our life. We lose loved ones, we lose jobs, we lose use of our body due to injury or illness, we lose confidence (even if only temporarily), we lose self-esteem, and often…we lose ourselves.

There is a great deal I have learned about loss in my (nearly) 47 years on this earth. Although there is more loss to come, bringing more lessons with each one, this is what I can share about a few of my own losses with hope that something resonates with you and helps you grow today.

• DEATH: When my best friend in college was brutally murdered, I learned that everyone deals with loss differently. Considering that this was my first true experience with loss/death, I was oblivious to this concept, and struggled to understand why some people pushed me away because I reminded them of her, while others smothered me in attempt to feel closer to her. After all, we all were in this together…right? Why couldn’t we all deal with it together, in the same way? It was a terrible time, and I found myself trying to make sense of something that would never make sense. I was desperate to feel close to her. I started doing all of the things that she did when SHE was alive, even though they didn’t all interest me before her death. It took a while to learn this lesson: TIME heals everyone. Tragedy hurts, but each person must embrace their own journey with it…and there is no “right path” to follow. Do things that bring joy to your day. LIVE, if nothing else, for the one you lost. They sure would be if they were still here with us! And sometimes you just have to separate yourself from people that choose to bury themselves in the sadness. You can’t save anyone that isn’t ready to be saved, so save yourself first. LIVE by example, it can be contagious. There have been many significant losses since my college friend, and each one has continued to teach me how valuable TIME is, and how time HEALS.

• EMPLOYMENT: Although I haven’t really lost a job, I have lost something that greatly impacted not only my job, but my life’s passion. As soon as I got settled into my first brick and mortar location for my business, the building I was leasing was pulled out from under me. It was a nightmare. Just as I was building my clientele base and getting momentum in my space, the rug was literally pulled out from under me when the landlord served me a notice they were tearing down my building & I had to move ASAP. As a gym owner, the last thing you want to tell your students is “we have to move, don’t know where yet, but don’t worry…keep paying me & it will work out”! This is the time you learn what you’re made of, and I discovered I had “grit” that had never been discovered. Over the next 3 years I would move my business 3 times, as seamlessly as possible with NO interruption. (I don’t suggest this to anyone, it’s incredibly stressful & expensive!) Losing a job would have been easy compared to the mental, physical, and financial stress during those 3 years…but I would have NEVER learned what I was capable of. I would have also never learned how powerful the community was with my members, friends & family that supported me and helped me get through that time. Lesson: When you help others, it ALWAYS comes back to you! 

• ILLNESS: Loss comes in many forms. For many years I have battled a nasty little thing called Ulcerative Colitis. It had been in remission for nearly 10 years when the stress of the 3 year business transition (mentioned above) wreaked havoc on me. Now 2.5 years after that dust has settled, I still haven’t gotten my system to calm down. That’s how powerful stress can be on the body. I have tried medicine (very expensive), acupuncture, & radical changes in diet. I tried everything I could, while ignoring what my “gut” was telling me to do all along. None of the “remedies” truly worked, at least not for long. But I kept working insane hours, rarely took days off, every waking thought (& sleeping thought) was about growing/maintaining my business & how I could have the biggest impact on others. I had lives to save! I didn’t listen to my body, my “gut”, and what it needed. I just kept giving to others instead. Then, for the first time in a long time, I got a few days off to spend at my most peaceful place on earth, the ocean. Only a few days, lots of sleep, and completely disconnected from everything…and my symptoms stopped. Not a trace. Not until I returned to my insane routine of giving all I could give to everyone else, too little sleep, stress, and no days off again. BOOM! All symptoms came back. Repeat same “miracle remedy” of ocean time again, and no shocker, symptoms stop again. It’s not rocket science, you can only go so long with high energy, stress, & no rest. Lesson: Give your body what it needs! Your body doesn’t fail you, you fail your body by abusing it and driving it into the ground. Now I still work insane hours and give all I’ve got…with a different attitude. When I can feel things building up, I just stop for a bit. Emails, marketing, planning…can all wait. I now allow myself space to “just be” and not have to get it all done every day.

• CONFIDENCE, SELF-ESTEEM, & SELF WORTH: People assume that because of my role as a leader in fitness, that I have never struggled with lack of confidence, a low self-esteem, or that I have never felt “good enough”. Truth is that I was a terribly shy child. I craved attention that I was not able to ask for. I felt weak & inadequate for a good bit of my youth. I was never an athlete, nothing even close! I was scrawny, and running to the end of the driveway left me wheezing. It was on a whim (& driving desire to change) after my senior year in high school that I started walking, then joined a gym, & then discovered how regular exercise made me feel. As I gained a little muscle, I gained confidence. As I gained ability to physically do things I had not done, my self-esteem rose higher and higher. Because I was physically stronger, I became mentally stronger and all the sudden, I WAS “good enough”. This transition grew stronger over the years and ultimately guided me like a compass to what I do today. I so much loved how I felt by taking control of my mind and body that I had to help others do the same. Lesson: Just because you don’t start with something, doesn’t mean you’ll never have it. All it takes is the decision to start something. Then take the necessary first step. And take another, and another. Every step adds up. Whatever you are lacking, and whatever you are dissatisfied with in your life…decide what you want to change and just start today!

When my friend & I were reminiscing of her late husband last weekend, we talked about his favorite and most recited quote: “LIFE IS GOOD”! It truly is, if you can see past the lessons we are forced to learn. There is ALWAYS a silver lining, and it’s rarely obvious. The challenges in our lives are put there for a reason. I believe they are there to make us stronger. One of our mantras at TFW Greensboro is “The STRUGGLE makes us STRONGER”! There is no doubt that I will face much more loss in my future. I expect it. And just as I have done until now, I will learn & grow from it.

If you are looking for a supportive community to help you thrive and grow, join our FAMILIA at TFW Greensboro. When you are surrounded by positive people on the same mission…ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! www.tfwgreensboro.com